well I can remember the day like it was just last night.
well Iget started,it was march 17 2008 and it was fathers day and I was upset to play a baseball game on fathers day because I wanted to spent it with my dad.So he went to the game and I told him to pretend its a cards game.
then the game is ending and our season was sliping away.And one player is at bat he got hit by a pitch and i was up to bat and im freaking out becuase i didnt know if I was going to get out,strike out I didnt know.So im in the batters box the pitcher throws me a ball at my feet,then i swing and miss,then the ball almost hit me.and I rip one and it was sailing but foul.Then i hit the ball about 380 feet fair.Then im running the base like theirs no tommrow and the third base choach says go home go home and im running home and i slide into homebase and the umpires call me safe.The whole team piles on me we take the field and 3 outs and we win we went to the championship game and lost.Even though we lost i still hit a grandslam on fathers day and that is my favroit day ever.
Phillip,
ReplyDeleteI love how you try to set up the anticipation for your readers. Remind me to copy the spilled milk piece for you so you can see an excellent example of what I think you are trying to do. I think it will help you clean this up and focus it a bit more.